"There's no place like home." That was the last line in the classic film The Wizard of Oz. A story of a girl, and her little dog too, who found themselves in a distant and strange land and just wanted to go home. Dorothy knew where her home was, or at least the home she dreamed of. But where exactly is home? What does home mean to you?
Some would say, "Home is where the heart is." Others would argue that it is a physical place; one with floors and walls. But, where does God say our home is?
For those who are new to the saga of As Katie's World Turns (Katie Meets World? *insert catchy title pun here*), these past few years have been nothing but constant transitions for me: transitioning jobs, transitioning health status, transitioning lifestyle, transitioning friends, transitioning family status, etc. I moved back to my 'hometown' in 2014 after serving 5 years in the Army Nurse Corps. Even though this is my 'hometown' and I spent my entire childhood here, I have struggled with where I belong and my purpose in this area since returning.
Last fall, I thought I had finally started making progress in the puzzle of 'where I belong' by coaching Jr High Field Hockey and Jr High Track and Field at my alma mater (the current coaches were my coaches/teachers back in the day!). I was welcomed into the programs and connected with the kids on my teams in a way I never thought possible. I mean, who is ever able to connect with a middle schooler?! But, I fell in love with that age group.
Around the same time, I started working as a substitute nurse in the schools as well and realized I really enjoyed it. So, I started taking classes to become a Certified School Nurse in hopes of being able to fill the vacancy the very same school I attended was expecting to have the following year (this year). Life was starting to look promising! I was finally starting to figure out what I wanted to be when I grow up! I was going to work full-time for the school and coach the kids and sports that I love!!
In June, I discovered that was not exactly the case. You see, I hadn't yet completed all the courses required for my certification and the school had an applicant that was already certified and well, they had to go with her. Again, around the same time, I started seeing my amazing chiropractor and I became enthralled with the philosophy and theory behind chiropractic care. I decided to apply to chiropractic school and became very excited about the possibility of being able to care for and heal patients the way my chiropractor was caring for me. I started making mental plans of how I would transition my life to Georgia in order to attend this chiropractic school.
In August, Field Hockey season started up. And, again, I loved every moment of it...well almost every moment...they are middle school girls after all... I started feeling a major dilemma. If I do attend Chiropractic school, I will have to 'give up' coaching for the duration of school; approximately 3.5 years. As the season progressed, and my attachments to the players and other coaches continued to grow. The excitement of chiropractic school started falling to the wayside.
If you have been reading my blogs, you will recall that I attended a Missionary Rally in October. In said post, I discussed how God has been working on my heart for missions and sharing the Good News with the world. Well, within the past week, the organization I have been involved with in the Dominican Republic just announced that they are looking for a new medical coordinator. After going down several years in a row, I got to know the current medical coordinator and we have become friends. I reached out for more information only to find that this would also be a minimum 3-year assignment (preferably). Ugh...more options!
Which brings us to tonight. Tonight was the end of season banquet for the high school field hockey team. (I was the Jr High head coach, but helped out with the high school team whenever I could.) As I sat there thinking about the girls that were on my first team as a coach, I realized again (not the first time for this thought process) that I would miss the rest of their high school careers if I either move to Georgia or the Dominican Republic. That makes me sad. These girls hold a special place in my heart for helping give me purpose at an extremely low time in my life. I can't just abandon them! Why does life have to be so confusing?!
Through all of this decision-making process, I have been trying (I'm not perfect!!) to follow God's leading. Ultimately, I know as long as I follow Him, I will be happy and content wherever I do or do not end up. After the banquet, I came home and decided I would start getting ready for bed and maybe actually make it to bed early for a change...the fact that I'm still typing should tell you the 'early to bed' part hasn't quite come to fruition...Anyway, I picked up my copy of The Purpose Driven Life: What on earth am I here for? and started reading. God is so humorous in his timing...
Tonight's chapter is Day 6: Life is a Temporary Assignment. Rick Warren goes on throughout the chapter to explain that earth is NOT our home. He explains how our time on earth is fleeting compared to eternity. Warren cites 2 Corinthians 5:20 explaining how we are to be ambassadors for God and what that looks like with an earthly perception:
"Imagine if you were asked by your country to be an ambassador to an enemy nation. You would probably have to learn a new language and adapt to some customs and cultural differences in order to be polite and to accomplish your mission. As an ambassador you would not be able to isolate yourself from the enemy...
But suppose you became so comfortable with this foreign country that you fell in love with it, preferring it to your homeland. Your loyalty and commitment would change. Your role as an ambassador would be compromised. Instead of representing your home country, you would start acting like the enemy. You'd be a traitor."*
Warren goes on to explain that the turmoil we feel to seek happiness and acceptance and contentment cannot be obtained while on this earth. God did not create us to be happy and content on earth, he created us to something so much bigger and better that we cannot even fathom how amazing it is! He ends the chapter with these words that brought tears to my eyes:
"When life gets tough, when you're overwhelmed with doubt, or when you wonder if living for Christ is worth the effort, remember that you are not home yet. At death you won't leave home - you'll go home."
I am struggling with these decisions before me because I am afraid they will make me have to leave HOME. But, I haven't even experienced my home yet!!! By attaching myself to a specific location or group of people and calling it home, I am betraying my God. My desire to create a home here on earth will NEVER really happen. If I want to truly follow God's will and plan for my life, I cannot attach myself to false earthly promises of contentment and happiness. I will never truly feel home until the day I see my Savior's face. So, if God says "Go!" I best start packing!
Does all of this mean that I will end up moving to Georgia or the Dominican Republic? Or remain in Lancaster? I have absolutely no idea!! But, it does mean that I absolutely cannot let the idea of this being home keep me from being God's ambassador. All that being said, I would appreciate any prayers for all of this! I believe in the power of prayer, even in our imperfect human bodies. Please join me in prayer for guidance and clarity as to what God is telling me and where He is sending me.
Thank you for reading! Again, I would love to return the favor of praying for you. If you have any prayer requests, feel free to post them in the comments section or shoot me an email katiegheil@gmail.com. Until then, I pray the peace of our heavenly father over each and every one of you:
' The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.' Numbers 6:24-26 (ESV)
*Warren, R. (2002). The purpose-driven life: What on earth am I here for? Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.
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